5 min read · Updated 27 September 2026
In this guide
- What helps and what to avoid
- Supporting from abroad
- When to encourage further support
- Looking after yourself too
What helps and what to avoid
Practical help is often worth more than the right words: bringing food, helping to host mourners, running errands, or sitting with someone. Say the name of the person who has died, and share a memory if you have one.
Avoid telling someone how they should feel, or that they should be moving on. Grief doesn't follow a timetable.
Supporting from abroad
Distance doesn't mean you can't help. Regular calls or voice notes, contributing to the costs, joining the livestream, or leaving a message on a tribute page all tell the family they are not alone. Keep checking in after the funeral, when the visitors have gone home.
When to encourage further support
If someone is struggling to sleep, eat or cope with daily life months after the loss, or talks about not wanting to go on, gently encourage them to speak to a doctor or a counsellor. Online grief support is available through DFS; it is general support, not clinical care, and we refer on where that is needed.
Looking after yourself too
Supporting someone through grief is tiring, especially if you are grieving too. Rest, talk to someone you trust, and accept help when it is offered.